Stop stretching my dreams

I'm not completely delusional. I know the chance of me ever owning or even driving something like a Veyron is slim to none.
But there was recently a crime against a car, I've not only dreamed of owning, but even found ways to make my dream come true.
Since its rebirth in 2001 as MINI, I've been obsessed with mini coopers. That's right, I've played the games on the website, built my dream MINI and even my MINI robot.
But this past November, as I walked through the L.A. Autoshow, I stumbled (almost literally since my eyes were glued to the BMW 1 series) into the latest of the MINI line, the Clubman. Someone should club the designers at MINI in the head.
Let's review the top selling points of a MINI, shall we?
1. Go-kart like handling (this makes the MINI a lot of fun to drive)
2. Great gas mileage (about 32 city/40 highway)
3. Compact size (great for weaving in and out of traffic and parallel parking)
But the new Clubman is lacking one of those selling points, (maybe two, I can't really vouch for the handling as I've never driven one).
The MINI Clubman is almost a whole foot longer than the MINI Cooper. And while it is still smaller than most cars, like the super sedans it just looks wrong.
The Clubman has a small, reverse hinged third door on the passenger side, and while it makes climbing in to the backseat easier, I think it takes away from the MINI idea.
The back of the MINI Clubman also opens differently. It has two doors that swing out, instead of one that just lifts up. OK, I admit, that doesn't really bother me too much. But the reasons behind it does.
The Clubman offers significantly more cargo space. Some of you may be wondering why I'm so against cargo space and I should tell you, I'm not. But like the four-door supercars, I just don't think a MINI is the place for cargo.
I'm having trouble understanding why all these manufacturers are trying to make their cars as useful as Batman's belt. Some cars just aren't meant to be practical, learn to love them for that. Stop trying to change everything about these cars.
If you have a lot of crap to haul, but something bigger than a MINI. Don't take a rally car and make it a truck.

Family Supercars

Anyone who knows me knows I love supercars. Just about every computer I touch gets a background picture of a Bugatti Veyron, a Shelby Supercar Ultimate Aero TT or something similar.
But lately some of what I've been seeing upsets me.
A couple months ago I opened up an issue of Car and Driver and saw a Porsche sedan.
They call it the Panamera. It was designed to compete in a class with the Mercedes-Benz CLS. But personally, I've never really put Porsche and Mercedes in the same class. It was bad enough when the Cayenne made its North American debut in 2003, but at least that is very different from what Porsche is, or was, known for. This new car, the Panamera, which is supposed to come out in 2009, looks like someone treated a 911 like silly-putty. They stretched and disfigured it, added a couple doors and gave it a new name.
The Panamera will get the same engine as the Cayenne. That's a 4.5-liter, V8 engine which will produce about 350 horsepower, and a 500 hp turbocharged option may also be available.
But no number of horsepower could convince me that a four door, front engine Porsche is OK.
Porsche has hurt me, and I think (or at least I hope) some Porsche purists may agree.
While Porsche may have crushed me, but Bugatti broke my heart.
It was like someone telling me that Jimmy Choo was going to start making orthopedic sneakers. I picked up a copy of Automobile and practically threw it right back down.
A Bugatti sedan was staring me in the face. That's right. Based on the Veyron, the Volkswagen AG owned Bugatti has produced a super sedan. If that wasn't bad enough, brace yourself for what's coming next.
The four-door Bugatti monstrosity will get the same engine the Veyron has. If you didn't read my first post, I'll quickly recap, it's an 8-liter, W16 (that's two V8s put side-by-side) engine.
Little Billy and Susie will never be late for school again.
It will be a couple more years before we begin to see this Bugatti faux pas, but as far as I'm concerned, Bugatti can take as long as they want before they actually begin producing it. I don't want to see it. Though at about $1 million apiece, I doubt I'll see too many.
Supercars have always been a love of mine, but this sedan trend has got to stop. It takes these fast, hot cars and makes them old. There is no good argument in favor of four doors.
You do not buy couture clothing to wear every day, and you do not buy a supercar sedan to pick up kids and groceries.
To all the supercar manufacturers, leave the sedan making to someone else and keep putting out the heart-pounding, probably should not be street legal autos we all love and wish we could afford. Please, and thank you!

Apologies to Jettas and their owners

It was recently brought to my attention that I stereotyped Jettas as being the ultimate chick-mobile, and some people (and cars) took offense to my remarks. I apologize to Jettas and their owners, but seriously, most people I asked agreed.

More than Jettas

Watch out guys. Cars are no longer just toys for boys and this chick is ready to play, in heels no less.
Some people might say we should drive less to spare the environment, but I don't believe that. Yes, cars do contribute CO2 to the atmoshpere, but so does breathing. And asking me and other auto enthusiasts to stop driving is the same as asking us to stop breathing.
But don't let my skirt and undeniably cute shoes fool you, I know what I'm talking about when I tell you that the Bugatti Veyron has about 1000 horsepower and 987 pound-feet of torque. That's about twice as much torque as the McLaren F1. Under the Veyron's hood is a W-16 engine, that's right, 16 cylinders, eight liters, 64 valves and four turbochargers.
If that doesn't impress you, then navigate yourself away from this blog because that's just a slight preview of things to come. I love supercars, but fear not consumers, I also find some cars that the average person can enjoy quite entertaining. And so for every post I make about a car most of us will only dream of, I'll tell you about an affordable car that's almost as fun to drive.
If you have any questions about your car or troubles you may be having, feel free to ask, if I can't answer them myself, I'll find someone who can.
I may have a large collection of purses and more necklaces or earrings than any one person really needs, but my favorite accessory doesn't fit in a jewelry box and can't be carried on my arm.
Just don't ask this chick where she parked her Jetta.